I wish there was a pamflet on understandung girls

Girls are by far the most complex creatures of all time. I don't understand them! I'm not even sure if they understand themselves! It's like everything I say or do to impress a girl backfires. When I compliment them, they'll most likely be offended for something. And they claim to like "nice guys", but statistics and experience shows that they do NOT care how nice you are. They only like you if you act better than everyone else and drive an expensive car! Which I don't have... So does this mean I'm doomed to be forever alone? if there was some kind of way I could understand their complex way of thinking I'd be better at this. I've even asked girls questions about this, trying to gather important info to improve my love life. But they never tell the truth when I ask. They just say typical things like "If you're nice to her she'll like you." Lies! if it was true I'd have a girlfriend! If you're reading this and have any information about the female mind, please share I'm desperate.

I wish humans had built in night vision

Humans should have night vision. Cuz it sucks when you're walking in the dark and nail something with your shin and it kills! It wouldn't happen if you could actually see in the dark! Or when your friends think its funny to scare you, and you're walking through the dark and they basically give you a heart attack. And if you could've seen them, this wouldn't of happened! I know it's not that big of a deal, but it would just be really helpful. We've all had situations where we couldn't see anything. But if this was true, I guess horror movies would probably cease to exist.. and I like horror movies. So let's just forget about this idea ok?

I wish junk food was healthy

I hate how so many things that are good for you, taste awful! Why does food have to be bad for you to taste good? I mean what if Mcdonald's was the healthiest thing you could eat? I'd be like the healthiest person on the planet! (I eat there daily). And before basketball games you'd see the players scarfing down twinkies right before going to play. And they would have mountain dew in their water bottles to drink during the game. And it would actually be healthy! I know it's never gonna happen but a guy can wish can't he? not all healthy food tastes bad, but in my opinion, the majority of it does.

I wish I had a paradise I could go to whenever I want

Life is stressful right? Everyone has a lot of problems they have to deal with every day, and it's just hard! Wouldn't it be nice to have a little paradise you could go to any time you need to relax or get things off your mind? Just your own little happy place. Everyone's ideal place would be different obviously, but I have a pretty good idea of what mine would look like. It would be on an island, a tropical island. The sky would have beautiful sunset sky colors all over it. Mellow oranges and pinks and purples everywhere. And you'd be able to see so many stars, and galaxies, and planets in the distance close enough to see. The air would feel warm and calming, like a summer night. There would be palm trees all around, with sweet fruit growing on them. Beautiful music would play quietly in the background of it all, accompanied with the sound of happy birds chirping. I'd lay on the warm golden sand, and just watch the calm water. It would be a tropical bluish green color, warm to the touch. And I'd just lay my head back, and stare into space, watching galaxies turn and shooting stars flying by. And after a while, I'd just sleep, knowing I'm safe where I am, knowing that nothing from the real world followed me in there, and I can just rest in peace for a while.

I wish my computer screen was clean

My compute screen is filthy. Well it's the schools computer, so they're responsible. As you can see, I created a hexagon type shape. I did this to show you where spot on my screen that has dirt all over it. Wow I'm just so creative! well this little vent sesh wasn't supposed to go long. Just felt like letting you know about my annoyingly dirty computer screen.




    _____
  /            \
/                \    <<<<<< Dirty Spot
\                /
  \______/

I wish I could forget things on command

This sounds really dumb, to wanna forget things. But hear me out! Do you remember the first time you heard your favorite song of all time? It was probably incredible. Or the first time you watched an incredible movie? Just good times. So what if you could make yourself forget hearing the song? Or seeing the move? You could hear an amazing new song every day and love it just as much as the first time you heard it! And you wouldn't need to buy movies. You'd only need one, because you could watch it over and over again! See I told you it was a good idea. Plus being able to forget things would come in handy when you get friend zoned by a girl... Just forget it ever happened! That's probably the biggest reason right there.. I'm pathetic

I wish I could control time

Wouldn't time control be amazing? There's so many things I would do! First off, I would never have to wake up tired. When it's time to get up, no problem, just freeze time and get more sleep. And during school I'd just pause time, and go drive some sports cars on the freeway or something! or of course when you see someone you really don't like. It wouldn't be too hard to pause time and get a few punches on him, and no one would know but you. And he'd just get a really, really bad headache all of a sudden. Oh, and not to mention that you could be the best athlete that ever lived. In a football game, when the ball gets passed to you, just slow down time, and catch it with ease. Or in track, you could slow down the other runners just a little bit, and you'd win every race! Are you starting to understand how much fun this would be? Well I don't know what I pushed on the keyboard to make it underline the words... But I'm not good with computers so I'm not even going to attempt to fix it.. sorry.